Updated: Jul 19
I often tell my husband, when watching television shows, the news, movies, etc. that as a therapist, we are trained “mind voyeurs.” We look at how people react to situations that are occurring, and instead of judging, we’re curious about the behaviors. As I watch the news in particular, read social media posts, and generally pay attention to the world around me, I am constantly going back to the thought, “why has society forgotten humanity?” What about kindness?
I want to expand on this. When I am in session with a couple, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I am trained to think of the couple as a system. I am trained to look at their points of view equally, and without bias. It is my job to not take sides, but most importantly, to see that neither person is a “bad person” or is trying to be malicious or have malintent, that they both have their own “Capital T” truths. What that means to me is that they see the world through their own lens. Through their own set of beliefs, how they were raised, what religion, culture, or background they came up in. If they had trauma, or abuse in the past, and so on. Each person brings their own way of looking at a situation, and each person will hear, see, and view a situation differently. It is why when a wife says something to her husband and the impact is different than the intent, an argument can ensue with the wife completely oblivious of why her husband is upset. Without proper communication, the wife may never know why her husband was upset with her.
We All Matter
I believe that my training, has equipped me to be able to look at the world with the same way that I see couples. I see value and humanity within each person. What I see happening with the media, and social media especially, is that we are losing sight of seeing people as individuals, and as humans who have personalities, families, children, a heart and soul, values and morals. We have more similarities in each other than we have differences, and what is dividing us is causing hatred and it’s harming the fabric of our society more than it is causing peace.
My hope and prayer is that we will see this and we will come together as people, a nation, and we will begin to see the humanity in each of us, and what is good, not what divides. Our differences are beautiful, but they shouldn’t cause a divide like what is happening.